Accept and don’t see yourself as a victim: MY MOST IMPORTANT RULE. Our lives will never ever be the same again but remember that you’re not alone. There are so many of us!
Of course, we have the right to ask ourselves, why me? To cry, to scream, to complain, to be upset, to be tired, to not get out of bed, to say no, to stay inside, to hide, to isolate …But these need to be exceptions, not a new way of living and a new habit. Why? Because that is the easy way, the shortcut.
And, because of the fact that we’ll never get the answer to “why me”, there is no proof that it’s just due to stress, to smoking, there are many theories, but we’re all different. One thing is sure, is that we’re not responsible, even if many will seek the reasons why we ended up with breast cancer, and they will come back and tell us they think they know the reason why… etc. This way of thinking is very harmful, and I felt that it would only lead me to feeling guilty. This is very unfair. So I forgot about that immediately, let sadness give way to positivity and strength, let people talk, I don’t care.
Don’t look back, look ahead! This was the best protection and the most powerful physical and mental painkiller for me.
I applied this rule within my whole journey, i.e. before surgery, post-surgery, before cell therapy, radiotherapy, I saw my side effects being minimized big time and… I was able to keep my smile and be that superhero!
This is the introduction I’ll repeat in all posts; I can’t repeat it enough, for me, acceptance is the best painkiller!
Today, let’s talk surgeries.
Our scars, our victories.
For upcoming surgeries and maybe mastectomies, I can only ask you to keep faith in you. I made it and found peace of mind afterwards. Yes, I’ll have to live with a new body, with scars, with less capabilities, but I made it. And yes, let’s not look away from the fact that for many, losing a breast is losing their everything, leading to very dark thoughts and feelings because it’s the most symbolic part of ourselves, our motherhood, our arms of seductions. Maybe the favorite part of our body for our partners, etc etc.
So, back to my words and on “accepting”. You’ll be able to reinvent yourself, it will not be easy, but always remember, you’re not alone. There are thousands of others just like you. We know how you feel and we’re ready, waiting for you in this worldwide “woman hero club” even men…. So, you are not alone, it’s so important that you know that we stand behind you!
The days before your surgery, enjoy, look at yourself, take pictures, start to write the story of your new life. For me it was very beneficial for my mind at a later stage.
I wanted to have everything ready for the after, so I checked out the suppliers of prosthetics to stick into my bra, first the textile version, and then the plastic/synthetic to also add in a bra or “glued” on my chest when the scars are correctly healed. You may want to do the same. It has the same weight as the breast you lost. Because you’ll adapt a new posture without that breast, this will help you to protect your back and also mindset. So, seek out the suppliers of underwear also, adapted to this prosthetic.
And then some women want to say “goodbye” with some kind of ritual before a mastectomy. Some others do not. I did not, for the purpose of staying stronger and keeping my “I’m the boss attitude”.
I thought…’Just take it”. You don’t need IT to live. You have all the rest and you’ll find how to replace it… if needed.” And I had also the feeling that the “dirt” would leave my body with that breast…so I went with it I think this acceptance helps as well post-surgery, when you take a new look at yourself in the mirror. The pain that we can feel, I’m so convinced, that I would have been thousand times worse, if from the beginning, if I had taken the posture of a victim.
I said: Surgery…check! Next!
As you evolve in your journey, your body will change and for me, the sooner I accepted that, the sooner I felt better and recovered the positive mindset needed to win.
You’re all heroes!
Leave a Reply