Accept and don’t see yourself as a victim: MY MOST IMPORTANT RULE. Our lives will never ever be the same again but remember that you’re not alone. There are so many of us!
Of course, we have the right to ask ourselves, why me? To cry, to scream, to complain, to be upset, to be tired, to not get out of bed, to say no, to stay inside, to hide, to isolate …But these need to be exceptions, not a new way of living and a new habit. Why? Because that is the easy way, the shortcut.
And, because of this fact, that we’ll never get the answer to “why me”, there is no proof that it’s just due to stress, to smoking, there are many theories, but we’re all different. One thing is sure, is that we’re not responsible, even if many will seek the reasons why we ended up with breast cancer, and they will come back and tell us they think they know the reason why… etc. This way of thinking is very harmful, and I felt that it would only lead me to feeling guilty. This is very unfair. So, I forgot about that immediately, let sadness give way to positivity and strength, let people talk, I don’t care.
Don’t look back, look ahead! This was the best protection and the most powerful physical and mental painkiller for me.
I applied this rule within my whole journey, i.e. before surgery, post-surgery, before cell therapy, radiotherapy, I saw my side effects being minimized big time and… I was able to keep my smile and be that superhero!
This is the introduction I’ll repeat in all posts; I can’t repeat it enough, for me, acceptance is the best painkiller!
Today, let’s talk Radiotherapy.
Some will tell you, that this is “paradise” or a “tourist trip” compared to cell therapy. It’s “different” for sure.
6 cell therapies over 3 weeks versus 30 daily radiotherapies… Indeed, I felt less impact than the cell therapy, but it was quite a logistical challenge to go every day. I was lucky to have a “health cab” picking me up every day to drive me to the hospital.
Radiotherapy can be at the beginning or at the end of your protocol, and we all react differently, of course. But indeed, comparing each step, I would say that this is the least complex.
I built new and different relationships with the technologists and welcome desk staff. Because they see you every day, for 1 month, they know and see quite quickly what mood you are in.
I find it quite interesting when the health staff set up the program, some kind of dry run on the machine, marking your body with a few points (permanent tattoo). I remember feeling like an actor of some kind of treasure hunt, this programming and mapping for the machine, to find that “treasure”, such a humanized robot, instinctive.
Those small tattoos can be eliminated with laser if this brings bad souvenirs later in your life. Personally, I kept them, they are very small, hardly visible, and again, it’s the proof points of my victory and part of the “new” me.
I remember thinking…wow…. what a powerful machine, I see nothing, I feel nothing, but this invisible ray is eliminating anything that could be still left over after my cell therapy and surgeries.
I looked up at the ceiling, they had installed some lights and plastic covers so I should look like clouds. Each time I got stuck on a cloud that looked like a wolf, with an open mouth and big nose…
Each session only took a few minutes, so I never got time to seek for another form.
Let’s be honest, sometimes, especially in the beginning, my tears prevented me from seeing clearly, I saw no forms at all. I felt no pain, no worries, but of course feeling sad from time to time, also very jealous of all friends that left town for their annual summer leave, sitting on a beach somewhere, with a nice cocktail, with no worries in mind…and me, here, with this humanized robot.
Honestly, apart from sharing feelings and thoughts, there are not many tips and tricks to tell here. We’re still locked in a planning that we cannot control too much, but generally, the doctors will be nice and let you breathe a week or two in between cell therapy and radiotherapy. Take time to just escape for a moment. Plan a short trip somewhere. I went to Barcelona, I’ll always remember that week, each step I took. I enjoyed each second and realized how beautiful life was, how lucky I was to be there. And, finding needed strength to go back to remaining piece in my protocol.
Again, there are not too many tips and tricks here more than making sure you have soft textiles on your upper body, easy to remove and put back on again. Don’t stay in the sun of course and protect yourself.
You’ll hear many “off the record” recommendations on creams, essential oils, ‘fire healing’ persons. But your doctor will give you the best recommendations.
Personally, before leaving every morning to receive my dose, I went to the gym for an hour of exercise. To power walk and do some stretching.
EMPOWER YOUR BODY
Normally you’ll be able to plan your daily radiations more or less at the same time slot, so I made sure to have enough spare time to get my dose of cardio also. You could do some power-walking maybe, outside, to see the sky…
Why not some stretching? Good flexibility helped me do just about any movement more comfortably, from walking to sitting to bending over to pick up something I dropped. Flexibility exercises also helped ease stiffness and posture changes that happened after breast cancer surgery, reconstruction (especially reconstruction that uses tissue from another part of your body), or radiation. Flexibility exercises also can ease stress and made me more relaxed.
Thank you for reading my last blog on the treatments. You’re all heroes!
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